ABOUT ME

I am the happiest and most confident right now than I have ever been. But I wouldn’t change my struggles for anything. They got me here.

As a child I piled on weight in response to my parent’s divorce. Feeling unstable, like the rug had been ripped from under me, I turned to food and comfort eating to feel a sense of control over something. Plus I liked how I felt when my belly was full. As I did my inner work later in life I realise that this fullness I wanted to create was connected to my Root Chakra (Muladhara), the foundation of the body’s energy system. This chakra represents our base needs – stability, grounding and a sense of security. I was turning to something external (food) to satisfy my needs to feel secure, because at the time I didn’t know any better.

I carried my excess weight for 40 years.

Anyone who has ever had a struggle with their weight (in either direction) knows how helpless that battle can make them feel. It’s hard to feel good about yourself as a fat person in a society that values thin-ness. I was a teenager in the late ’80’s and early ’90’s. A time when society was obsessed with ‘size zero’ and the media scrutinised the bodies of female celebrities, piling on the criticism if they looked anything other than skinny. Impressionable teenagers back then didn’t have the ‘Body Positivity’ movement of today to lean on. I was bullied, called ‘Fat’, shamed for my hunger (I overheard my weight being discussed by adults in the family who criticised my overeating) and within me this created a sense that I was unacceptable how I was. From such a low emotional place and without a feeling of solidness around me to feel any support, the cycle of eating to feel better, then feeling worse, continued.

Once habits are ingrained they are hard to shift! As an adult I tried many diets. Each eventually failed. Diets are once again, an external answer to fixing an issue that comes from within. Diets treat the symptom, not the cause. I remember saying in exasperation to a group of close female friends one day after another attempt to shift some weight had failed “If my problems were only due to diet and exercise, I’d have cracked this years ago”. Hard work and effort was not my issue – I could give that in abundance. Self love was.

Then I found yoga.

It took me time to fall deeply in love with yoga. In my twenties I tried it and did enjoy the class, but gripped by diet culture I also didn’t think it was ‘sweaty’ enough – I wouldn’t work ‘hard’ enough, to make a difference. So I focused on cardio based classes instead.

I came back to yoga in my thirties when I had a young family and no time for myself. I just wanted some peace, some space, to feel better in my body and mind. This is when my yoga practice stuck. I worked up to a twice weekly practice and stayed there for several years. In my 40’s as my (still overweight) body started to show signs of age, wear and tear and stiffness, yoga was like the oil to grease the joints. Regular classes helped me to feel better all round. It was only after I looked back on all the consistent effort I’d put in, that I realised I was feeling better in my mind too. There is not a part of you physically or energetically that yoga doesn’t touch. It’s like magic.

Yoga helped me reconnect with my whole self. I’d spent years living from the neck up – disassociated from my body, eating on autopilot. I didn’t realise how checked out I was. Numb, from years of ‘not good enough-ness’ as I tried to diet and be someone other than who I was – trying to be skinny. On the yoga mat I could just ‘BE’. There was no judgement, no criticism, no praise for the skinny above all else. The yoga mat was my sanctuary. It held me. Like a strong pair of arms. It became my solid ground – my stability.

At 47 years old I hit a life crossroads. I’d been trying to change direction in my career. My children had grown and with them, all the tasks that required me to be available at school run times or during the day. So I applied for some jobs, looking for something that would be my path. Something for me. A job hunt is a full time job in itself. I’d be invited for interviews. In several cases I had second interviews, getting down to the last two candidates. But every time I was passed over. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t want me. I had great skills, a friendly personality, I’d move heaven and earth to do a great job. I was still very much, a people pleaser. With hindsight I see this as the Universe sending me in a better direction. In THIS direction, to my purpose.

Knowing that I’d been going for these jobs because they made sense given my skillset, the decision was made with my head and I was getting nowhere. So instead I tuned into my heart. I asked myself “What do I love?” The answer was yoga. So I left my family for a month to fly to Costa Rica and take my Yoga Teacher Training qualifications and figure it all out.

Yoga brings me home. Since qualifying as a Yoga Teacher I have built up a yoga business and a loyal following in my local area, sharing this amazing modality so others can access the benefits for themselves too. I have completed further training in Restorative Yoga, Yoga Nidra, Meditation and Sound Therapy, my classes having a particular emphasis on deep rest and accessing intuition.

It is my joy and my privilege to hold spaces where others can find yoga and themselves through this practice. My classes are filled with empowering prompts. I know first hand how negative words can spiral one’s opinion of themselves downwards. My classes are the exact opposite. Uplifting, joyful, nurturing, empowering.

All the answers to what you are looking for are within. It is my pleasure to be your guide as you find them, whilst providing practical, actionable content to support your journey.

Namaste 🙏🏼

XoXo